so...here we are again...
this week I wanna talk about my personality in social settings. On the outside looking in people can believe that I am a social butterfly. Hanging out with people, constantly...scandal/HTGAWM watch parties on thursdays, the life of the party in the office on Fridays, putting a smile on everyone's face, Saturday random concerts, and trips to the park, crazy partying and finally amazing brunches on Sunday. All while working 80 hours a week with 6 or less hours of sleep a night. LIFE OF AN OVERACHIEVER am I right?
yeah...I'm probably one of the most nervous people you will ever meet. Huge public places bother me, crowds low key scare me, clubs annoy me, I rather stay home and binge watch tv shows. If I have to be social 5 friends max for me, it's easier to keep the conversation going. House parties are annoying to me, there is never enough seating and people hop into cliques unless games are being played. I'm so over it most of the time that I think my friends know better than not to invite me.
So I wrote this piece months ago and never posted it. It's amazing how things have change in a matter of months. I am still socially awkward, but I do miss hanging out with friends. Sometimes I miss going to house parties and giving with people. I miss my friends. They all seem busy or just think that I'm super busy when most of the time I'm not. I blame my depression for not wanting to be out and about. Tonight was a night where I wanted to do things but no one answered. It sucked but I'm working on being more open and available to the possibility of being social. Even if I feel awkward.